I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
