your thong is hanging out like whoa
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
