I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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