how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
