Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
