I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So much Jack, so little girl.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
