We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
