"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
