he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
