Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
