its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Even my vagina gasped.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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