hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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