don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
