so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
