so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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