I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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