did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I believe in your delicious
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
