i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
