I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
