After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
