dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
