She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
