dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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