Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
