is your mom at the bar?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
