now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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