Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
