literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
