he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No stitches, just platelets and will power
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
