I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
