He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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