woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will be naked everywhere
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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