Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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