Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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