Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
