He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Little spoons don't ask big questions
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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