summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
