Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
