That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You can't motorboat a personality
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
