My nipple is on Facebook.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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