Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
