I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
