yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
