He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
