I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
