i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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