Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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