Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
