why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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