i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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