There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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