Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
